Monday, November 28, 2011

Where art thou, Crap Fic Theater?

What can I say?  Life has been super-hectic lately, and I haven't had enough time to record or meticulously edit any new episodes.  I should, however, have a new episode out soon: the much delayed (and criminally deranged) "Artemis's Lover."  Yes, nothing like ending a month-long hiatus with some hermaphrodite-on-feline erotic fanfiction.  You're welcome, Internet!

Also in the works: the next chapter of "DELTA Invasion," the second installment of "My Immortal," the long-awaited sequel to our Transformers in Love fanfiction anthology, and some fanfics recommended to us by our dedicated listeners.


  1. No links seem to work anymore, can you fix this?

  2. Yup, no links working. Would be great if you all could get them working again because I've been itching to hear Issei Meets the Sailir Scout Girls.

  3. I know why his links don't work, it's because of where he hosted his content. It's the same reason mine didn't work. I became discouraged until I found a decent webhost.

    Should Mr. Pamachu get a hold of me, and want to get his show back, I shall tell him exactly how to go about it.

    -Andrew Cooke, Host of Pretentious Internet Theatre.

  4. Jellystone's showers
    Chapter 1
    This strange inicdent took place during an extremely hot afternoon in Jellystone Park: Inside of his cabin, the park ranger John Francis Smith was taking a cold shower in order to bring some relief to his body. What he ignored is that in those moments, two Brown bears he knew very well were spying him from the open window of the cabin.
    “Yogi, what are we doing here?” the smallerbear whispered to his much more bigger companion. “Why are we spying ranger Smith?”
    Yogi didn´t answer inmeidately to childish tiny sidekick. Both bears were suffocating under the burning sun of that afternoon, but only one of them cared about that, since the only thing Yogi could think in those moments was in the naked body of ranger Smith in front of his eyes.
    “Yogi?” the little bear with a blue bowtie asked once again, unable to realice that his partner wasn´t even listening him.
    “If you want, you can return to our cave Boo-Boo…” Yogi the bear replied to his faithful sidekick after a couple of minutes. “You know, you don´t have to follow me everywhere…”
    “Yogi, I´m worried about you…”replied the loyal Boo-Boo, but he was completely ignored by his partner who only could think in those moments in the nude body of Ranger Smith, wet and covered with soap.
    As the warm water slowly cleaned his body, ranger Smith could feel he was starting to have an erection, and Yogi Bear had an erection as well, as his penis started to very noticiable among all his fur. In fact, it was so noticiable that Boo-Boo couldn´t help but notice it and was shocked by that:
    “Y-YO-GI!!!” screamed a shocked Boo-Boo.
    It wasn´t very common for him to see his friend Yogi having an erection so noticiable as that, and such impressive sight made Boo-Boo to have an erection almost inmediately.
    “What the fuck…” said then ranger Smith, after he Heard Boo-Boo´s scream. ”Who said that?”
    Boo-Boo and Yogi then tried to run away but it was very hard for them to move their paws due their erections, and when Yogi tried to move, a thick White fluid of it emerged and quickly covered all his glans.
    “YOGI! BOO-BOO! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” Ranger Smith angrily asked, just before he noticed the immense erections the two bears were having at those moments. “YOGI, WHAT THE FUCK! Both of you were spying on me, you dirty pervs!”

  5. However, Ranger Smith didn´t seem ashamed at all, and he didn´t even try to cover his nudity, leading Yogi to see once again had a very impressive side of his erected, wet penis.
    “We…We are sorry, Ranger Smith…We won´t do this again…” Yogi clumsily tried to excuse himself, but before he and Boo-Boo could leave, Ranger Smith grabbed him by his virile member and then he said:
    “Oh no, you are not leaving…You are not leaving until I say you can leave…You dirty bear…”
    “Please, ranger Smith, don´t do that!” Yogi asked, in pain, as ranger Smith continued grabbing his penis, making it to produce even more semen than before. That felt so wrong and painful and yet Yogi alsofelt an incredibly pleasure in those moments.
    “Please…” Yogi begged, but at the same time a part of him wanted Ranger Smith to continue grabbing him by his beastly virile member.
    “Do you want me stop?” ranger Smith asked in a taunting manner, and Boo-Boo couldn´t help but notice the pervert smile on his face. Much to his embarrasament, the little ebar was somewhat aroused by the situation.
    “Do you want me to stop?” ranger Smith asked once again.
    “No…I mean yes…I mean…” Yogi said, still incredibly aroused. The bear couldn´t decide in those moments what was more intense, the pain or the pleasure. Maybe they were just equal, and can´t chose between the two of them.
    “Please, ranger Smith, stop doing that, it is very appropiate!” Boo-Boo begged, and Ranger Smith said:
    “It isn´t much more inappropiate than spying on a man while he is bathing, you dirty bears!” ranger Smith replied. It wasn´t a very convincing answer, but Boo-Boo knew that wasn´t the best momento to start arguing with Ranger Smith. Instead of that, Yogi said:
    “Dear Ranger Smith, we will do anything you want in order to amend our offence…”
    “Yes, anything, sir…”
    “Both of you?”
    “Yes…Sir…” a doubtful Boo-Boo added.
    “I warn you, if youa re lying to me…”
    “I-i´m not lying…” Yogi stuttered. “I´m not lying sir.”
    “You always lie…”
    “Thsi time I´m not lying…I am not lying…” Yogi muttered, among his soft pleasure growlings.
    Even when he wasn´t entirely convinced he could trust Yogi and Boo-Boo, ranger Smith still made them enter inside the showers, and there Yogi and Boo-Booto removed their clothing accesories…An absurd thing to do considering that they practically didn´t wear any cloth besides of his hat, tie and a purple bow-tie, but they did that anyway.
    “Since you interrupted my bath then you will have to do a very special favor to me, and nobody and I mean NOBODY could ever know what we are going to do here, do you understand?”
    Yogi and Boo-Boo looked at each other nervously, perhaps fearing the worst.
    “Do you understand?” Ranger Smith asked again before reminding the two bears once again the promise they made.
    “Yes, sir, we understand…”
    “If somebody ever knews ore ven has a suspicion of what happened here, both of you are history? Do you understand me?”
    “Yeah. We understand…” Yogi said with a blank stare on his face, while Boo-Boo felt that this was going to be a very, very long day…

  6. "Okay, ranger Smith...What are we going to do here?" Yogi asked, perhaps trying to break the tensión of the moment, but Ranger Smith answer was harsh:

    "Shut up. Don´t talk now. Just do whatever I tell you to do. And do it without hesitation. I´m not in the mood to tolerate any of your non-sense today..."

    Ranger Smith then ordered Yogi to kneel next to him, and then he ordered the ebar to start licking the tip of his penis.

    Yogi was confused by that order. Note ven in his craziest fantasies he pictured himself doing that.

    Ranger Smith impatiently repeated his order, and Yogi had to obedy him.

    "Be careful with that bear tongue of your...And remember to ONLY lick. Don´t try to do anything else than that..."

    "Okay, ranger Smith..." Yogi replied submissively and then he streched his tongue and started to lick Ranger Smith´s glans.

    "Eww..."Yogi said once he had his first taste of Ranger Smith´s cum on his tongue...This...Is...Is way too salty for me..."

    "Just imagine it is something you would want to lick. Yo are always Licking things on the ground..."

    "B-But...This is different Ranger Smith..."

    "In what way is different?"

    "I´m not going toe at you..."

    "Of course you don´t. But are going to eat something from me..." Ranger Smith said as he caressed Yogi´s head as he was one big dog.

    At first Yogi didn´t like very much the taste of Ranger Smith´s semen, but he soon find himself enjoying it, as such act made him feel closer to that human being.

    "Not so fast..." Ranger Smith ordered. "You are going tol et por Boo-Boo with anything..."

    "What?" Yogi asked, in shock. "Boo-Boo is going to do this too?"

    "Do you have any problem with that?"

    Yogi remained silent, while Boo-Boo looked down the floor with shame.

    While he was seeing his friend Yogi licking Ranger´s Smith glans, he had a bit of curiosity, but he wasn´t sure if he really wanted to do somethign like that. However, in those moments, he didn´t have a choice but to obey Ranger Smith as he ordered him to start doing the same thing than Yogi.

    The taste of human semen was something new to him by that point of his life, and his reaction at first was similar than the one Yogi had, but when Ranger Smith asked him if he liked it, he lied and said that he liked doing that, because he was afraid.

    "Now that both of you have a taste of my cock, it´s time for me to have a taste of yours..." Ranger Smith announced as he grabbed the bear penises of Boo-Boo and Yogi.

    "Ranger Smith, what are you doing?!" Boo-Boo screamed, experiencing by first time in his life an indescriptable pleasure he never felt before while Yogi just growled confusedly as the semen started to flow profusely once again of his beastly cock as ranger Smith grabbed it.

    Ranger Smith then started to caress the penises of Yogi and Boo, making their erections to increase at least two inches mores.

    Using only tow of his fingers, Ranger Smith was able to find Yogi´s anus hole among all his hair, and then he said:

    "Yogi, you have a very ncie asshole. Would you allow me to introduce my cock in it?"

    Of course that was just a rethorical question, since Ranger Smith did that anyway before Yogi could ever think of an answer and then he quickly proceded to do the same with Boo-Boo, who was going to remember feeling Ranger Smith´s immense manhood inside of him for the rest of his life, as he growled in pain and ectasy at the same time, while tears poured from his eyes, and then Yogi tried to said something but Ranger Smith ordered him to stay quiet...Just a few seconds before someone else entered in the showers too: It was Ranger Jones!

    "What the fuck is happening here?" that bald man asked as he discovered Ranger Smith penetrating Boo-Boo while grabbing Yogi´s penis.

    "Oh, fuck..." exclaimed then Ranger Smith.

  7. Ranger Jones wasn´t wearing anything more than a towel, and the sight of his naked corpulence made Ranger Smith and the two bears to have another erection, but then Ranger Jones asked once again:

    "What the FUCK is happening here, Ranger Smith?"

    Ranger Smith remained silent, as he wasn´t sure how to respond Ranger Jones. Would he have to confess all the pereverted feelings he had been hiding during all those years?

    However, before he could even say something, ranger Jones removed his towel, revealing in that way his fully erect penis pouring semen.

    "Why didn´t you ask me to join to your little party, you dirty motherfuckers?" he said, before he kissed Ranger Smith: As their tongues made contact inside their mouth, Ranger Smith knew that there wasn´t any way in which he could ever say "no" to Ranger Jones, who immediately joined to the orgy, penetrating first Ranger Smith, then Yogi and then Boo-Boo, and then he let Ranger Smith, Yogi and Boo-Boo to do the same thing to him.

    Once the orgy was over, Ranger Jones, Ranger Smith and the two bears, took a very cold shower, in order to clean their bodies, and while they were doing that Ranger Jones adviced Boo-Boo that he needed to be a bit more less delicate at the momento of fucking, like Yogi. Boo-Boo was a bit ashamed of that, but then Yogi said:

    "It´s okay, Boo-Boo, I like your way of fucking things" but Boo-Boo reamined silent.

    "I´m sure that next time you´ll do better..." Ranger Smith said, caressing Boo-Boo´s head.

    "I hope so..." Boo-Boo replied, still confused by the experience he and Yogi had that day inside Jellystone's showers. Since a long time he had been unsure of his own sexuality, but that afternoon just made him to realize many things about him he ignored about himself until that moment, and he wasn´t sure if he was ready to accept all that from one day to another.

    Yogi´s behavior was very comprehending towards his little friend, giving him all the support he could. That night, he even let the little bear to sleep hugging him, and the situation continued for at least two months until Ranger Smith and Ranger Jones decided that it was the time for another reunion with the two bears in the showers...but that is another story that would be told in another occasion.

    The end (By now)