Saturday, September 24, 2011

Coming Soon: A Night with Gonterman - The Radio Drama (collaborative episode)

We are proud to announce that we have begun work on our second collaborative episode: a dramatization of David Gonterman's "A Night with Gonterman."  For this episode, we have combined forces with Franzie von Karma (of Bad Fanfiction Theater) and adapted Gonterman's infamous, semi-coherent script-fic into a full-fledged radio play.  The story itself is vintage Gonterman: a metatextual multiverse crossover which features characters from Darkstalkers, Sailor Moon, the WWF, and Mystery Science Theatre (!) and a narrative where Gonterman inserts not only God Mode Marty Stu but also another fictionalized version of himself.  It's like a Charlie Kaufman screenplay hatched from the pop-culture addled brain of a nerd with some seriously unhealthy √úbermensch fantasies.

To bring this rousing tale to life, we have assembled a formidable cast of voice actors:

Franzie von Karma (Bad Fan Fiction Theater)
Sean Russell (Anime 3000)
The Girl Nerd (The Girl Nerd's Podcast)
Cat Bountry (Cat Bountry vs. Earth)
Jeff Tatarek (Lather's Blather)

Stay tuned for more news about this exciting episode!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Episode 13: My Immortal, chapters 1-22

Oh, god.  "My Immortal."  How does one describe Tara Gilesbie's fanfiction magnum opus?  

In truth, you can't.  But here are three small nuggets of information I can pass on before you listen to this episode:
  1.  Tara Gilesbie's "My Immortal" is universally acknowledged as the worst Harry Potter fanfic ever written.
  2. Numerous sources agree that Tara Gilesbie's "My Immortal" might be the worst work of fanfiction ever written.
  3. Others have persuasively argued that Tara Gilesbie's "My Immortal" might even be the worst piece of prose fiction ever written.  EVER.

Included in this episode are the first twenty-two chapters where we are introduced to our Mary Sue tragically beautiful "goffik" heroine, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, who spends her time shopping at Hot Topic, whining melodramatically, practicing vampirism, boinking Draco and Harry (who are both now hot "goffik" bi dudes in leather pants), flipping off preps, and single-handedly presiding over the Gerard Way Fan Club.  Good luck figuring anything else out from this train-wreck.

Just don't fuck with Dumbledore.  Especially when he has a headache.

As mentioned earlier, we plan on recording all of "My Immortal" at some point, although we may have to spread out the remaining chapters over two episodes.  Why?  Because this episode is almost two friggin' hours!  Gah!  At any rate, we're gonna take a short break before we return to the world of goffik Tara Gilesbie.
Next Time: Something that isn't "My Immortal."  Oh, please.  Make the hurting stop.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Coming Soon: My Immortal

Listen up, preps.  It's official.  We are proud to announce that we have started production on our audiobook dramatization of Tara Gilesbie's notorious fanfiction masterpiece "My Immortal," which is being recorded in response to the challenge issued by Pretentious Internet Theatre.  And, yes, we plan on doing the entire thing.

The entire 40+ chapter series will be spread over two individual episodes (which will not be produced back-to-back, I'm afraid, as I wish to preserve my sanity).  The first episode will contain chapters 1-22 while the second episode will feature chapters 23-44 and additional bonus content.

Oh boy.  It's gonna be a long couple of months.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Episode 12: The Piasa Bird

Ohmigod, you guys!  It's David Gonterman!

"The Piasa Bird" (also known as "The Piasa Incident" and "Piasa") is the first chapter in Gonterman's inimitable fanfiction magnum opus: The Davey Crockett Trilogy.  Mixing self-insertion power fantasies, massive multi-fandom crossovers, and right-wing agitprop, Gonterman's notorious fanfiction trifecta is a spectacular mess that garnered the author unprecedented levels of infamy and the unenviable status of persona non grata within several fan communities.  In this story, Gonterman uses the Power Rangers continuity as the backdrop for a furious, froth-mouthed screed against multiculturalism where the author's alter-ego marches into the narrative like a paleoconservative superhero who solves racial unrest with a series of shotgun blasts and incoherent blithers of white supremacist rhetoric.  The Power Rangers, on the other hand, function as nothing more than sounding boards for Gonterman's numbskull political opinions and Zach (the Black Ranger and our first-person narrator) even begins to exhibit near-pathological levels of self-loathing as he lauds Gonterman's alter-ego with near-messianic adulation and presents his white nationalist teachings as religious gospel.  

And Gonterman still found ways to be even more tasteless and offensive in his later stories (go ahead and read "American Kitsune" if you don't believe me).

We plan on eventually recording both "Blood and Metal" (seven chapters) and "American Kitsune" (incomplete at eleven chapters).  Let us know which of these you'd like to listen to first.

Note: Also included in this episode is a message from Andrew Cook of Pretentious Internet Theater and our response.

Next Time: You'll find out at the end of this episode!

Friday, September 2, 2011


No new episode this week, I'm afraid.  I would give you a customary (and needlessly long-winded) update, but there isn't much to tell.  I have almost completed the next episode, an audiobook production of David Gonterman's "The Piasa Bird," and am still in the process of editing the... well, punishingly long "Quorra Punishment Chapters," a mega-sized multi-character crossover that doubles as hyper-sexual agitprop.  I've also heard from a few people eager to hear our production of "Artemis's Lover," one of the most infamous (and nauseating) works of erotic fanfiction ever written.  As we said in the past, we've got the entire thing recorded... but postponed its release for ages because... well, have actually you read the damn thing? <shudders>  So perhaps you'll be listening to that soon as well.  Anyway, our next episode should be posted next Monday.

As some of you might have heard, our podcast was also mentioned on the most recent episode of Pretentious Internet Theatre, where we were issued a seemingly insurmountable challenge by host Andrew Cook.  What was this challenge?  And what was our response?  Well, I suppose you'll have to listen to their most recent episode (Episode 36) and stay tuned for our rebuttal (which will be attached to  Monday's episode).

One more thing: Heavens Feel Press finally finished their audiobook production of the Hellstorm Evangelion trilogy this week with their release of "Issei Strikes Back."  Give it a listen.