Episode 15: Quorra Punishment Chapters

To some extent, "Quorra Punishment Chapters" constitutes little more than a digressive, terminally deranged ransom note written in the form of fanfiction by a froth-mouthed outsider.  Mixing crackpot conspiracy theory with intra-continuity crossover, Harry Apprentice's unhinged, borderline-schizoid narrative tosses together various characters and plot elements from Project A-ko, DC Comics, Godzilla, and Tron: Legacy (well, sorta) into an absurdist work of right-wing agitprop with some additional fetish-friendly fap material.  Oh, but Harry Apprentice also wants to hold us hostage!  Why?  Because we didn't create a kinktastic, pseudo-pornographic Photoshop image of Quorra, "the hot sexy lady... from the TRON movie," and must therefore be punished by a positively nutzoid story that keeps telling us about all the "sexual kinks and fetishes" that are being withheld from the reader.  Harry Apprentice also demonstrates a complete disregard for canon, continuity, or characterization as he uses pre-established characters as political mouthpieces who rant and rave about religion, sexual freedom, probiotic sauerkraut, hymens, Hurricane Katrina, panty-diapers, and the oppressive, all-powerful "homosexual conspiracy."

In other words: chaos reigns.

For those who have never seen Project A-ko: don't worry.  Harry Apprentice even announces in his preface that he doesn't really give a shit about this fandom: "I write this story in a VERY OLD FANDOM that probably nobody care [sic] about any more. Just imagine if it had been Quorra porking gay South Park boys again or if it had been Quorra in the new Transformers movie or if it had been even sexier than that!"

(This episode also features another update in our ongoing feud with Pretentious Internet Theatre.)

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Next Time: Oh, god.  Who knows?  Possibly our second Transformers fanfic anthology, or the next chapter of "Evangelion II: DELTA Invasion," or... ugh... more "My Immortal."

Announcements

No new episode this week, I'm afraid.  I would give you a customary (and needlessly long-winded) update, but there isn't much to tell.  I have almost completed the next episode, an audiobook production of David Gonterman's "The Piasa Bird," and am still in the process of editing the... well, punishingly long "Quorra Punishment Chapters," a mega-sized multi-character crossover that doubles as hyper-sexual agitprop.  I've also heard from a few people eager to hear our production of "Artemis's Lover," one of the most infamous (and nauseating) works of erotic fanfiction ever written.  As we said in the past, we've got the entire thing recorded... but postponed its release for ages because... well, have actually you read the damn thing? <shudders>  So perhaps you'll be listening to that soon as well.  Anyway, our next episode should be posted next Monday.

As some of you might have heard, our podcast was also mentioned on the most recent episode of Pretentious Internet Theatre, where we were issued a seemingly insurmountable challenge by host Andrew Cook.  What was this challenge?  And what was our response?  Well, I suppose you'll have to listen to their most recent episode (Episode 36) and stay tuned for our rebuttal (which will be attached to  Monday's episode).

One more thing: Heavens Feel Press finally finished their audiobook production of the Hellstorm Evangelion trilogy this week with their release of "Issei Strikes Back."  Give it a listen.

Progress Report

As usual, we have a veritable smorgasbord of crap-fic goodness in production right now.  Hell, we've gotta admit--there are some real winners in this bunch.  Don't believe us?  Take a look for yourself:

Until the End of Time (gofer-chan) [DBZ/Anne Frank x-over] - We're about 85% finished with our first collaborative production.  And trust me: you guys are in for a treat.  Our guest performers knock it out of the park.  You should be listening to this one by Thursday evening.

Mortal Kombat/TMNT Crossover (TurtleNinja) [self-explanatory] - Completely recorded--with a bonus Splinter impersonation.  I've edited about 50% of the sound files, but have done little else on this episode.  I suspect this should be released within a couple of weeks.

The Piasa Bird (David Gonterman) [Power Rangers/Gonterverse] - Oh, man.  This one is a fanfiction supernova!  Yes, we're recording the first part of Gonterman's infamous Davey Crockett trilogy... because we're doing the entire series.  That's right--we also intend to record "Blood and Metal" and the notorious (and unfortunately incomplete) "Sailor Moon: American Kitsune."  Yes, we are clearly insane.  This episode is 100% recorded, but we haven't found the time (or the will power) to start editing it. 

Quorra Punishment Chapters (Harry Apprentice) [Project A-ko/DC Comics/Tron: Legacy/Godzilla x-over] - I've recorded two out of four chapters... and to be perfectly frank, I'm having a helluva time putting this one together.  You'll understand why when it's released.

Transformers in Love II -- A Fanfiction Anthology - Our first audiobook anthology of Transformers stories remains one of our most downloaded episodes, so we'd naturally like to follow it up with a sequel.  We're still trying to select two or three potential fanfics suitable for this episode.  If you'd like to recommend a Transformers fanfic you think might be appropriate for this program, send us an email.  

[untitled script-fic radio drama] - Franzie von Karma (the host of Bad Fan Fiction Theater) and I have recently started talking about adapting script-fics into old-fashioned multi-actor radio dramas.  Nothing else to report, although I'll admit to being pretty excited about this project.  Expect a casting call to be posted soon.

That's it!  Keep checking back for more updates!

Until then, please don't get sick of playing the good guy all the time.