Episode 14: The Sailor Moon Anti-Fic Triple Feature

A nostalgic look back at the irrational hatred Sailor Moon engendered during its time at the top of anime fandom's totem pole, this episode dramatizes a trio of hyper-violent revenge fantasies targeting teenage super-heroines in short skits.  These stories spare no expense in spewing all sorts of venomous hyperbole and near-sociopathic invectives.  What was it about Sailor Moon that stirred up so much contempt?  Who knows!  Perhaps we'll find out in tonight's selection of classic Sailor Moon anti-fics:

• "Beavis and Butthead Do Sailor Moon" (Bane) - A grammatically challenged crossover that finds our beleaguered Sailor Scouts taking on the task of mentoring a pair of dimwitted metal-heads.  The results are as predictable as you'd imagine.  Don't let the suggestive title fool you, though.  Even in fanfiction, Beavis and Butthead will never score (expect with each other... in slash fanfiction... I'm going to shut up now).
• "Godzila [sic] V.S. [sic] Sailor Moon" (Bane) - An epic confrontation of Marv Newlandian proportions!  Complimentary neck-braces will be given out to all who can withstand the swift, whiplash-inducing conclusion.
• "Bloodbath" (Nav) - Ka-POOOOW!  Bang!  Bang!  Bang!  A screwball self-insertion revenge-fic that follows the exploits of a gun-crazed teenage avenger who massacres the entire cast of Sailor Moon in increasingly gruesome ways.  A time-capsule from pre-Columbine America, where pseudo-masturbatory stories of adolescent psychopaths blasting away their enemies with semi-automatic rifles didn't even raise an eyebrow.

Hey, you know what?  I just realized that Sailor Moon is no longer in print on DVD!  What the hell, dudes?

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Next Time: "Quorra Punishment Chapters," unless someone can find some erotic Mitt Romney/Rick Perry slash fanfics for me to read.

Episode 9: The Horribly Bloody Death of Kairi

A special thanks to Allison for requesting that we record this episode.  As always, we aim to please.

"The Horribly Bloody Death of Kairi," xXxmRs.RiKu's gore-soaked (or, to paraphrase the author, "gore-govered") Kingdom Hearts anti-fic, teaches us a valuable lesson about the sociopathic extremes of shipping.  In short, hell has no fury like a fangirl scorned.  Her thesis: "kairi [sic] is an ugly bitch [sic] srsly [sic] how can eanybody [sic] LIKE her? GOD."  Featuring one-note characters and a narrative so threadbare that it couldn't even fill up a cocktail napkin, this fanfic functions solely as a propagandistic anti-Kairi author tract where fangirl zealotry has murderous consequences.  In this story, Kairi is mischaracterized as a foul-mouthed, man-crazy, panty-flashing, homophobic dipshit who takes perverse pleasure in cock-blocking Sora and Riku.  And you know what that means--no yaoi!

Wait, no yaoi?  OH GOD!  Won't somebody please think of the yaoi?

Kairi is clearly a menace to slash fandom and must be stopped.  But how do you you solve a problem like Kairi?  I don't want to spoil anything, but... uh... it's all there in the title.

Bonus points for the gratuitous suggestion of necrophilia.

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Next Time: Our collaborative audiobook production of "Until the End of Time."

Original Music: Eperiod, Xeko, mattjohnson817, and DJRocAL.  Oh, and Bach.