In the interest of feeding the trolls, we proudly present this decadent four-course meal of audiobook goodness. Often imitated but never improved, D'ark Yagam'i's "Light and Dark [sic] The Adventures of Dark Yagami" is an absurdist, canon-punching fever-dream that takes the medium of self-insertion fanfics to its (il)logical extreme. In this story, Light's diabolical and preternaturally gifted twin brother Dark enters the Yagami household as a virus enters a host cell, tossing the natural order of things irreparably askew. Trained in a secret orphanage in Whales (which, according to the author, is "a town in England") to become L's successor, Dark instead murders Mello and Watari (who gets better) and absconds to America (where the Yagami house has inexplicably been relocated... perhaps Sandy Frank was hired as a consultant) with "a special death note that kills anyone whos [sic] name is written in it [sic] even if you dont [sic] know there [sic] face or name." Then things get pretty bonkers. This fanfic has it all: time travel, double crosses, car chases, secret identities, weird recursive dialogue, knife fights, gratuitous lesbian sex (or "sexing"), mop-fetishism, glittery bikinis with buttons, manly tears, mock-homophobic asides ("its [sic] not like their gay or anything!"), stinky mustaches, lame puns ("Where is Near?" "He is near"), hyper-violent eviscerations, PSP theft, and copious plot holes. Oh, and blood bananas. Don't forget the blood bananas. Filled with ludicrous, near-improbable plot twists and prose that verges on constant non-sequitur, "Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami" might be a stealth parody but it's done so well that it still warrants an audiobook production of the highest calibre.
We have recorded the first six chapters of this fanfic, which could loosely be described as the first story arc and a complete, quasi-cohesive (relatively speaking) narrative. We have no plans to record the entire 40+ part epic. Unfortunately, we cannot commit to such a massive undertaking at this time (especially with more "Evangelion II: DELTA Invasion" still in the works). However, several dramatic readings of the remaining chapters can be found online.
Now let the foursome begin!
Download chapters 1-3 (right click and save)
Download chapters 4-6 (right click and save)
Next Time: a special non-canonical bonus episode (and then more "DELTA Invasion," we promise)!